Wedding Ceremony

Personalize the Ceremony

Couples have been married jumping from a plane, on the tops of a mountain, on a ship, on the beach, in their backyard and at city hall.

Wherever you decide to have your ceremony, you may want to personalize it by including some of these ideas:

Select readings or quotations that reflect how you feel about one another. These can be taken from the bible, poetry, works of fiction, etc.

Include the lighting of a unity candle. This may include two small candles which are lit by the bride and groom's parents. The candles are then used by the bride and groom to light the larger unity candle.

Print up a wedding program with a special message and distribute it to guests at the ceremony. Remember deceased relatives and friends. See the following section for ideas on how.

The bride hands a flower to each mother and/or to other guests.

Have a talented friend sing or play an instrument at an appropriate time during the ceremony.

Have a song written about how the two of you feel about each other or have a song written especially for your fiancé.

Consider releasing doves at the end of the ceremony.

Bring your/his heritage (religion) into the ceremony. i.e. If your Scottish - have groomsmen wear kilts.

If your lifestyles are casual, dress down on your special day or say your vows barefoot in the park.

Include your pets in the ceremony. If a pooch is small, consider carrying him instead of a bouquet as you take to the aisle.

Consider your ceremony on a theme basis as well as reception - Arrive on a horse to your groom dressed as Prince Charming. Use your imagination.

Carry a family bible or prayer book instead of a bouquet.

Why not ask all your brothers or sisters or both to walk you down the aisle.

When lighting a unity candle, turn and each of you light a candle of the first person in each of the first rows. They in turn light the next person in line until everyone has a lighted candle and you are pronounced man and wife!

Present your spouse or stepchild a special piece of jewelry towards the end of the ceremony.

Surprise your spouse by singing to them during the ceremony.

Ask your parents if they would like to join you in restating their own vows after you exchange yours.

Honoring a Deceased Loved One

We have received several emails from brides and grooms asking us how they can honor their deceased loved one on their wedding day. Many etiquette experts say that it is not a good idea to mix the joy of a wedding with the grief of a death. Therefore, you should not include their names on the wedding invitation. However, there are other ways you can honor them in a discreet and sensitive way. Here are some suggestions:

Say a special prayer (this can be done in private or said by everyone)

Mention their name (briefly) in a speech at the reception

Make a donation to their favorite charity

Have your bouquet include the deceased's favorite flower

Light a special candle

Place a special bouquet of flowers at the altar

Choose a special reading Sing a special song

After the ceremony, go to the cemetery and place the bouquet on the grave

Carry a framed photograph of a deceased loved one down the aisle