Vowing to be Different?

I, Jane Doe, take you John Doe to be my wedded husband. To have and to hold, to.... Is the traditional wording just a little too dry for you and your betrothed? Have no fear, there are several options to the rescue to spare you from your grandparents' traditional I do's.

Do you know that you want to say something different but don't really know where to begin to find it? Here are a few pointers on where to uncover new or unique pledges for your own unique ceremony.

Each religion or denomination has a play book or "Rules of Worship" guide. Within these books you will find complete ceremony details, including several different pledge options. Usually there will be one traditional version and one or more contemporary pledges from which to choose. Ask your clergy person for a copy of this particular section to review.

Click your way out of this article and "surf the net" under wedding ceremony, wedding vows, wedding poetry. Many couples have contributed their own personal vows for the world to re-use is desired via the internet. We recommend the "use it and lose it" approach with this option. Simply use whatever parts of others' vows that you can and lose whatever you don't care for and whatever isn't applicable. Mix and mold your vows until you find what is most comfortable for the two of you.

Put on comfortable clothes, jump in the car and head out to check out several religious bookstores.

Yes, we said religious bookstores. These bookstores carry entire books dedicated to pledges and ceremony vows and they are often non-denominationl oriented. Pick out a few books, find a bench or hit the floor, and settle in to scour the pages. (Taking a notebook along to jot down notes is most helpful).

BIG REMINDER! Couples do not have to repeat the exact same vows to one another. For example, the Bride can recite the traditional pledge if she chooses while the groom prefers a more contemporary vow. Consult with your officiant for additional help in this area.

Last but not least to consider is to write your own vows. What has been most cherished between you and your fiance? What promises do you with to make to each other? In what ways is your betrothed most special to you? There are now full ceremony dialogs out there based on specific lifestyles and circumstances, second marriages, joining of step-families, for nature lovers and on and on....

The only specific "must have" at your weddng ceremony is a licensed officiant who can legally pronounce you as husband and wife. Many states allow an individual to become certified for this purpose fairly quickly, explaining why more and more couples are choosing a family member or close friend to be the officant. So keep an open mind, have fun planning, and choose whatever options suit you best.